Turning Back
by DG Fisher
Summary: Here is another AU version of what happened to Adam.
1. Chapter 1

TURNING BACK

Overheard

Chapter 1

A sharp, cold, damp wind was blowing when Ben, Hoss, and Joe wearily dismounted and led their horses into the barn. All three men were so tired they didn't notice the two strange horses in the last two, usually unoccupied, stalls.

Joe was the first to notice when he finished with Cochise and stepped into the aisle. He glanced over his shoulder when he caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye, and then stopped dead. His eyes widened as he slowly turned around, and then took a hasty step back when the horse came toward him and poked his huge head over the stall wall. He stared into the animal's placid brown eyes for a few seconds then cleared his throat.

"Pa!" he called softly, not wanting to startle the horse.

His father's tone was slightly irritated when he answered, "What!"

"Uh…could you come here please!" Joe asked, keeping his voice low, and then turned his head toward the next stall when he noticed movement in that one too.

Ben came hurrying toward his youngest son with Hoss following out of curiosity. He almost ran into his father when the older man stopped in mid-stride.

"What the hell?" Ben said under his breath staring. Both horses had their heads over the walls and they looked almost exactly alike, their blue-black coats shone with health and meticulous grooming.

"Where'd they come from?" Hoss said as he stepped around his father and went toward the second stall. He carefully lifted a hand to gently rub the horse's forehead and the animal's nostrils flared as he blew out a deep breath. Then he reached out to nudge the big man in the chest, almost knocking him back.

"Ain't he somethin'!" he enthused as he reached with both hands to scratch behind the horse's ears.

Ben came to stand in between his two sons. "I guess we must have visitors," he said, and then turned away. "And whoever they are they're not from around here, I'd remember seeing those two before." He was hurrying up the aisle with Joe right behind him.

Hoss only paused long enough to give both horses a quick pat, and then hurried away. He caught up with the other two when they were going in the front door. He closed the door quietly and they stood there silently, staring at a pile of luggage grouped to the side of the stairs.

"Pa…" Joe started to say, but his father gestured for him to be quiet as the sound of a man's deep voice reached them from the second floor. They couldn't understand what he was saying, but Hoss and Joe's eyes widened when they realized it sounded familiar.

Ben slowly started up the stairs, not making a sound, his head tipped to the side as he listened intently to that voice, and the two younger men were right on his heels.

When they reached the hallway they could understand what was being said, but now the voice was female and they slowly made their way down the hall toward a bedroom door that was slightly ajar. They stopped right in front of it, listening to the voices that were punctuated by the rhythmic sound of the bed creaking.

"What I don't understand," the woman's voice was tight, sounding like she was in pain. "What I can't believe is that no matter how many times we do this it just doesn't get any easier!"

The man's voice was low, deep, and calm. "I know it hurts dear, but you have to hold still," he said and the three glanced at each other with their mouths open. That voice was definitely Adam's.

"I'm trying…" the woman ground out and they heard her grunt in pain. "God, when is this going to be over!"

"I'm sorry, but not for a while yet, you're not ready," Adam said low and she made a frustrated sound as the creaking started again.

"You know you don't have to suffer in silence, no one would hear you if you yelled. And even if they did no one would think any less of you for it."

"No! You know I can't…if I start I don't think I'll be able to stop," she said and the pace of the creaking increased.

"Take my hand then," Adam offered, but she refused that too.

"I broke one of your fingers the last time and I'm not going to do that again!" she insisted and Adam laughed.

"Are you sure? That might make you feel better."

The woman gasped with restrained amusement. "Adam Cartwright, I swear if you make me laugh again I will knee you in the head!"

The three men in the hallway were still standing stock still, shocked by Adam's unexpected return and by what they were hearing.

"You know, I think you really would," Adam's voice was still tinged with laughter.

Ben was the first to move and he took a step forward to put a hand on the door.

"Smart man," she agreed and gasped again. The bedslats stopped creaking and they heard her breathing heavily. "You better try again, I think we're almost there."

"I certainly hope so," was Adam's answer as Ben slowly pushed the door open.

The woman was on the bed, propped up by pillows and her knees were raised. A sheet covered her, and Adam was folding it back as he bent over, his dark head disappearing in between her legs. Her hands gripped her thighs tightly and they could see her distended abdomen harden as another contraction started.

She let her head fall back and she groaned slightly until the contraction eased. Wearily raising her head she took a deep breath that caught in her throat when she noticed the three men standing in the doorway out of the corner of her eye. She slowly turned her head to stare at them for a moment then clapped one hand to her face and reached down to tap Adam on the head with the other.

"What?" he said, but didn't straighten up. She tapped him on the head again.

"What?" he repeated and this time she smacked him.

"Ow! What the hell did you do that for?" he said as he straightened up. "You don't want to break my finger, but you don't mind giving me a concussion!"

She gestured toward the door. "They're home!" she choked out and covered her face with both hands. "I hope it really IS true that you can't really die of embarrassment," she continued as he slowly turned his head toward the door.

The three just stared at him and their mouths fell open when he dissolved into laughter. "Oh God," he gasped and she let her hands fall away to glare at him.

"Adam," she said through clenched teeth, "go talk to your family and shut the door on your way out!"

They could see he was making an effort to stop laughing as he moved across the room and the three backed up when he stepped out into the hall, closing the door firmly behind him. He looked at each face for a second and laughed once more.

"Hi, how are you? What's new? Did you miss me? Sorry I don't have a lot of time to talk right now," he said quickly, grinning at their startled expressions. Joe was the first to find his voice.

"Is she your wife?" he blurted out and Adam shook his head.

"No Joe, I just enjoy delivering babies so much I picked up a pregnant woman on my way here," his voice dripped with sarcasm. He was still grinning as he shook his head again, "Of course she's my wife, you idiot!"

Hoss's bright blue eyes were shining with happiness as he suddenly reached out to pull Adam into a bone-crushing hug.

"Pa, just think!" he enthused. "Your first grandchild is gonna be born right here and right now!"

Ben and Joe were smiling wide smiles when Adam gasped, "Hoss…a rib's about to crack…" The big man quickly let him go and he bent over with his hands braced on his knees as he took a few deep breaths. His father and brothers laughed, but stopped when they heard a quickly muffled pain-filled groan from the bedroom.

"So she won't yell, huh?" Hoss asked, his open face showing he was worried.

Adam cleared his throat, "No, she won't, but …" he was saying when they heard her again.

"Son-of-a-bitch!" she ground out and Adam rolled his eyes as he straightened up then just had to smile at their startled expressions.

"However, she DOES swear," he said with a resigned air before looking at his father intently. "Pa, I hate to disappoint you, but this is not our first child…not by a long shot." Ben was recovering from his initial shock and his eyes had started to shine. He was about to speak, but Adam interrupted him.

"I better get back in there, I'm sure she's about ready to start pushing, so you and Joe can do me a huge favor by going down to the kitchen and rescuing Hop Sing from the clutches of our other children." He paused to glance back at the door when they heard a gasp followed by what sounded like a growl.

"I haven't heard any noise from down there so they're probably behaving listening to him tell a story. On the other hand they could have him tied into a chair and are torturing him. You never know," he continued

"How many do you have?" Joe asked.

"Why spoil the surprise? Go look," he answered, grinning wickedly as the two men almost ran toward the stairs.

"Oh, and Pa?" he called after them so they stopped and turned. "I probably don't need to remind you about this, but be sure to establish your authority with them immediately."

Ben nodded giving his son a sharp look, and then turned to hurry after Joe. Hoss was about to follow, but Adam stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"Oh no, YOU can meet the kids later. Right now I can use another pair of hands in there," he turned to reach for the doorknob.

"How come you didn't send someone for Doc Martin?"

"We don't need him," Adam said seriously. "I just need you in there because you never know what might go wrong." He opened the door and went in, dragging his reluctant brother with him.

The door closed firmly behind them.


	2. Chapter 2

TURNING BACK

Keeping Count

Chapter 2

Ben and Joe stopped when they reached the swinging door to the kitchen and stood there for a moment, listening to Hop Sing speaking slowly and carefully. No other voices could be heard.

Joe was about to go through the door when his father put out a hand to stop him. "Wait a minute…let's just take a quick look in there so we'll be prepared." Nodding, Joe carefully pushed on the door until it was open just a few inches. Then they both leaned forward to peer in.

Hop Sing was sitting in a chair with a crowd of children sitting on the floor in front of him, their little faces tipped up as they listened enthralled.

Stunned, the two men straightened up and stared at each other blankly for a while until Ben spoke.

"Did you count nine?" he asked and Joe's lips began to twitch as he nodded.

"Yeah…nine," he gasped and clapped a hand over his mouth when almost hysterical laughter started to bubble up.

Ben slowly turned to push on the door and look in again. When he turned back, he met Joe's amused eyes for a brief second and the two suddenly leaned into each other as they shook with silent laughter.

"I can't believe it!" Joe barely choked out. "Adam has NINE children!"

Ben shook his head. "No Joseph, TEN children. You forgot about the one being born!"

The two men stood there, trying to get their mirth under control, but every time they thought they had, their eyes would meet and they'd start laughing again.

"Dear Lord!" Ben finally managed to say, being careful to not look at his youngest son again. "We better get in there and relieve Hop Sing. I have a feeling he's been entertaining that crowd for quite a while now."

"Right," Joe answered, firmly reining in his sense of humor. They both took a deep breath, and then Joe pushed the door open the whole way saying, "After you, Grandpa."

Ben gave him a sharp look as he strode through the door, warning his youngest son to behave. Every head in the room swung to look and Hop Sing smiled in relief.

"You home now Mister Ben?" he said as his bright eyes swept across the small crowd sitting on the floor in front of him. He was about to speak again when one of the smaller children let out a high-pitched shriek of fear.

"Strangers!" the child bellowed and scrambled to throw himself at the largest boy, almost knocking him over.

"Strangers, Aaron, strangers!" the little one babbled and the older boy held on to him tightly and began patting his back.

"Alec, will you stop that please! They're not strangers, they're family," he shot an apologetic glance at Ben and Joe while rolling his eyes in exasperation. Both men smiled widely and Hop Sing muffled a laugh – the boy looked exactly like his father.

"I'm Aaron," he said to them, "and unfortunately for me, I'm the oldest." He looked down at the child in his lap who had stopped babbling and now had his face pressed into his brother's chest, his little body still trembling.

"They're not strangers, they're family," he repeated and Alec leaned back, tipping his tear-stained face up, his lower lip quivered. "I want Ma!" he demanded and the older boy sighed as laughter swept through the other children.

"You can't have Ma right now, she's having a baby," he was trying to be patient.

"Then I want Pa!" the smaller child insisted stubbornly and Aaron shook his head.

"You can't have Pa either; he's helping her, that's his job."

The little boy sniffed and his eyes narrowed with ill temper as he opened his mouth to yell, but Aaron stopped him with his hand.

"Alec, you've got to stop this now. Pa is going to be very cross with you and you'll end up going over his knee. Is that what you want?" Alec shook his head vigorously.

"Are you going to behave now?" The little one in his lap nodded his dark gray eyes wide and solemn.

"All right then," Aaron said and slowly took his hand away, prepared to silence him again if necessary.

Quick as a wink, Alec craned his head forward, bit the older boy's hand, scrambled out of his lap, and ran for Ben.

"Ouch! You little brat!" Aaron yelled while the rest of the children burst out laughing and Alec wrapped his arms around Ben's leg from behind.

"Aaron's mean!" he yelled, poking his head out to glare at his older brother, and then quickly hid again as Aaron got to his feet. His face was bright red and his hazel eyes flashed furiously as he surveyed the rest of his siblings who were rolling around on the floor, laughing helplessly.

Joe opened his mouth, no doubt to silence them, but stopped when Ben put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. He was staring at the oldest boy intently, watching him take several deep breaths as the red began to fade from his face.

"That's it! I've had enough of all of you!" he said loudly in a tightly controlled voice that cut through the noise. The other children immediately stopped laughing and sat up, startled. They had never heard that tone from their older brother before.

"I'm warning you," Aaron continued, "Pa gave me permission a long time ago to smack any one of you if you wouldn't behave. But I've never even thought of doing that…until now!" His narrow-eyed gaze swept over them, stopping briefly on each face.

"Now, all of you line up like Pa told you to do," he snapped and the children scurried to obey, even Alec. When they were standing in a line from the oldest to youngest he shook his head at them.

"You ungrateful little beasts!" he said in a softly furious voice. "Don't you ever stop to think that when you get in trouble I get in trouble for letting you get in trouble!" he paused to take a deep breath. "Pa's going to be furious and who's going to get in the most trouble? Me, that's who – and not one you cares."

Aaron paused again and Joe leaned toward his father to whisper, "Geez, you'd think Adam would remember more about being the oldest and not be so hard on him."

Ben gave him a quick glance. "You'd have to be a father to really understand it, Joe," he said low, but not unkindly. The two men turned back to the children to see Aaron slant them an embarrassed look.

"I'm sorry for losing my temper, but I've been cooped up with them for almost two months now and I just can't stand it anymore!" Aaron gave them one more apologetic glance, and then turned back to the other children.

"Now remember your manners and introduce yourselves the way Pa told you to," he told them and stayed standing to the side, watching them with his arms folded across his chest and his mouth in a grim line.

The first child in line was a tall girl with dark red hair and Adam's hazel eyes. She took one step forward. "I'm Adelaide and I'm nine," she said and stepped back, the corners of her mouth lifting slightly.

"I'm Andrew and I'm eight," the next one said as he stepped forward. He closely resembled Adelaide but was slightly taller, his hazel eyes sparkled with sly humor and he smiled widely at Joe and Ben.

The next child was another girl, with wavy black hair and light gray eyes. Her face flushed slightly and she smiled at Joe and Ben shyly. "I'm Amelia," she said in a soft voice as she took a step forward then stepped back in almost one motion. The next child was about move forward when she quickly looked up. "Oh! And I'm seven," she said and her blush deepened at having forgotten to give her age.

The next in line was a sturdy-looking boy with dark-red hair and light gray eyes. "I'm six, and my name is Abram," he said solemnly, but forgot to step forward. He gave his grandfather and uncle a quick nod, then ducked his head as he nervously clasped his hands behind his back.

Two children stepped forward together this time. "I'm Anthony and this is Arthur," the first one said and it was plain to see they were identical twins. Their hair was lighter, almost chestnut in color, and their eyes were a very dark gray. "We're five," the second one said and they stepped back in unison.

"I'm Alec!" the next child almost bellowed and tugged the last child, a very small girl forward with him. "I'm four and this is Amber, she's three and she don't talk much," his piping voice declared. Alec had his father's dark hair while Amber's was an even lighter chestnut than the twins. Her eyes were a greenish hazel and she popped her thumb out of her rosebud mouth as she stared at the two men.

She shook her hand to get Alec to let go and astonished her siblings by trotting across the floor to stand in front of Ben. He couldn't help but smile down at her dimpled face and immediately responded when she held her little arms out and demanded, "Up!"

Alec stared in surprise and his mouth dropped open. He took a deep breath and yelled, "Hey!" while the rest of the children whispered and giggled to each other.

Ben decided it was time to take control. His brows snapped together and he loudly said, "Quiet!"

The noise was immediately cut off and he noticed Aaron put a hand to his mouth to hide a smile. Amber popped her thumb back in her mouth, but didn't seem at all bothered. Ben turned to Hop Sing who was still sitting in his chair, biting his lip to keep from laughing.

"Thank you for taking care of them," he said to the Chinese man, and then turned back to the children. "All right, all of you out, I think Hop Sing deserves a little peace and quiet now," he said firmly and gave his youngest son a pointed look.

Joe hurried to push the kitchen door open held it as the children hurried to obey and filed through the door, still in line. Aaron was the last and he only paused long enough to give his grandfather a grateful look and to mouth, "Thank you."

Ben met Joe's amused gaze for a second then looked down at the tiny girl in his arms when she reached up to touch his cheek with one tiny finger.

"Are you my grandpa?" she asked and the two men glanced at each other again.

"Yes I am child," Ben answered and she smiled an angelic little smile.

"Oh good! Now I gots two!" she giggled and rested her head sideways on his shoulder while Ben and Joe laughed.

"I wonder how things are going upstairs?" Joe said as his father carried the child through the door and they moved toward the great room where the other children were all crowded onto the sofa.

"I imagine as well as can be expected," Ben answered as they hurried toward the group of children, their small faces watched them warily.


	3. Chapter 3

TURNING BACK

Warm Welcome

Chapter 3

Adam let go of Hoss after closing the bedroom door firmly and hurried over to his wife's side. She was resting back against the pillows and had seemed to regain a little of her composure. He picked up a cloth from the bedside table and wiped her sweat-slicked face as she smiled up at him. He glanced over his shoulder.

"Hoss, this is my wife Abigail," he said and moved away to the foot of the bed.

The big man swallowed nervously, but then found himself smiling back when she turned her head in his direction

"Glad to meet you, Hoss," she said from a tight throat and gasped as another contraction started.

"All right, let's get this show on the road," Adam said as he straightened up. "Hoss? Would you help her sit up? She needs to start pushing now."

"Oh thank God!" Abby said as he hurried over to push the stack of pillows out of the way and then sat behind her with one leg folded under him. He moved forward until she was leaning back against his chest and she tipped her head back to look up at him.

"Thank you," she almost whispered and her breath caught as another contraction hit.

"Abby, push as hard as you can now love," Adam said and she reached up to clamp her hands on Hoss's shoulders as she bore down.

"Good girl!" Adam was saying and the big man let out a startled laugh when Abby said "Woof!" sarcastically.

"Very funny Abigail," was her husband's response and Hoss had to shake his head. Then his brow furrowed when he noticed a doctor's bag sitting on the dresser. He opened his mouth to ask about it, but was distracted when Abby's fingernails bit into his shoulders.

"Give another hard push, my love, the baby's starting to crown," Adam said low and Hoss ignored the pain in his shoulders as he helped her sit up again. He heard that low growling sound from her again and Adam looked up to smile at him.

"Don't worry Hoss, she won't bite YOU. I'm the only one she bites when she's in labor," he said with a wide smile, and then looked back down.

"Stop pushing!" he barked and Abby gasped, but obeyed.

"What's wrong?" she said through clenched teeth.

"The cord is wrapped around his neck," Adam answered.

"Remember to stretch it over the head from back to front," she choked out, trembling all over with the effort to not push.

"Calm down, everything's fine…I don't see any cyanosis," he assured her and she relaxed slightly. "Besides, who's the doctor here?" He laughed as he glanced up at his brother's surprised expression.

"Yes, that bag is mine," he said quietly, and then turned his attention back to the baby. "Abby, the cord's out of the way…and the shoulders are now in position. Give me one more big push and this should be all over honey."

Hoss winced slightly as her nails bit into his shoulders even harder and she took a deep breath before bearing down with every bit of strength she had left.

"Good! Just a little bit more…" Adam encouraged her as the child slipped from her body and he carefully held it with both hands.

"Congratulations ma'am, you have another son," he laughed as he cleared the newborn's mouth and a strong cry burst forth.

Abby laughed breathlessly with him and let go of Hoss's shoulders to reach for the child. To Hoss's surprise, Adam handed the baby over and she cradled him in her arms, being careful to not press against the cord.

"Hello Alan," she said softly as her husband straightened up and stretched his back with a deep sigh. Then he turned toward the dresser to unwrap a towel from around a metal urn of hot water and came to spread it over the child. His dark hazel eyes were shining as he briefly paused to put a hand on the baby's head, and then he leaned down to gently kiss her on the lips.

"Good job," he said softly and she laughed.

"Well, practice does make perfect," she said and reluctantly handed the baby back to him, now wrapped in the warm towel. He moved back to the end of the bed, put the child down and held the cord in one hand for a moment to see if it was still pulsing.

In a few minutes he had the cord cut and the baby cleaned up. "Hoss," he said as he wrapped the child up in a warm blanket. "Would you take him downstairs for just a few minutes while we finish up here?"

"Sure," his brother said and propped her up with the pillows again as he got to his feet. He was about to step away when she grabbed his hand.

"Thank you," she said quietly and he realized he was getting his first good look at her face. Damp ringlets of dark red hair framed her oval face and clear gray eyes shone up at him with gratitude. He smiled down at her and she smiled back, deep dimples appearing in her cheeks.

"You're welcome," he mumbled, suddenly feeling shy but gave her hand a quick squeeze before turning away to take the tiny infant in his huge arms.

"Don't stay down there long," Adam said and Hoss answered, "I won't!" as he hurried for the door.

Everyone looked up when he reached the head of the stairs and he had to stop for a second, his eyes widening in disbelief at the sight of so many children packed together on the sofa. Then he hurried down the stairs.

"What is it, Uncle Hoss?" Aaron asked when he reached the bottom.

"A boy!" Hoss answered and the two older girls reacted with theatrical groans of displeasure as they threw themselves back on the sofa in defeat. The boys, with the exception of Aaron, clapped, hooted, and rolled around with glee. Amber was still snuggled in her grandfather's arms and didn't react beyond taking the thumb out of her mouth and leaning forward as Hoss bent down to show Ben his new grandson.

"Another boy!" Alec crowed at the top of his voice and the sound level rose as the boys continued to celebrate. Aaron shook his head, not exactly pleased to have another younger brother, and Ben was about to admonish them to calm down when they all heard someone loudly clearing their throat. The children instantly fell silent and looked up at their father who was leaning against the railing at the top of the stairs.

"What the hell is going on down there?" he said, his dark gaze sweeping across his children as they scurried to cram themselves onto the sofa again.

"Didn't I warn you all to be on your best behavior?" he asked as he slowly came down the stairs and every child except Aaron and Amber hung their heads.

Hoss had moved over to show the new baby to Joe and now he turned around.

"Should I take him back upstairs?" he asked and hurried away when Adam gave him a brief nod. He reached down to take Amber from his father's arms and moved to sit on the low table in front of the sofa. His eyes narrowed as he watched them for a few moments, and then he sighed as he turned his head to meet Ben's amused gaze.

"Just how badly have they been misbehaving?" he asked his father and Ben tried to tone down a wide smile.

"Not very, besides some yelling and one biting incident," he answered, trying to be suitably serious while really wanting to laugh.

Adam's sharp eyes noticed Alec turning slightly red and Aaron casually putting one hand over the other.

"Alec, why did you bite Aaron's hand," he demanded and Alec looked up at his father, startled. Then he stuck his little chin out stubbornly. "Aaron was being mean, he put his hand over my mouth," the little boy answered and his father raised one brow as he turned to his eldest son with a questioning look.

Aaron sighed. "He was yelling again about strangers and wouldn't stop."

"I see," Adam said quietly and turned back to Alec who quickly ducked his head to avoid his father's narrow-eyed gaze. He stared at the boy consideringly for a few moments, and then took a deep breath.

"You and I will be having a talk about that tomorrow," he said firmly and the boy's head sank further down. Then Adam had to hold back a smile when Alec's lower lip pouched out.

"Right now I want all of you to look out that window and tell me what you see," he said with a nod toward a side window. Every child except Aaron and Amber looked and then turned back to their father with puzzled expressions.

"What did you see?" he asked and his brows rose as he waited for an answer.

"It's too dark out to see anything," Amelia finally answered, her hazel eyes exactly like his looked at him warily.

"Correct!" Adam smiled at her. "Now what does that mean?"

The children glanced at each other and Andrew's eyes narrowed as he figured it out. "He means it's time to go to bed!" he laughed and stood as sounds of protest swept through most of the group.

Adam shook his head, "Oh moan, groan, and complain. Come on now, I've let you stay up later than I should have." He stood to hand Amber over to Aaron and the tall boy began herding the smaller ones toward the stairs.

Andrew started to follow, but stopped to look up at his father.

"What?" Adam asked and the boy swallowed nervously before answering.

"I don't think it's fair that Aaron gets to stay up later," he said and almost flinched when his father frowned slightly down at him.

"First, Aaron acts responsibly. Second, he is three years older than you, and third did I ask for your opinion?"

"No, but…" Andrew started to argue and his eyes opened wide as Adam leaned down.

"Now is not a good time to be testing my temper, Andrew," he said in an ominously soft voice. "And if you are not up those stairs in the next thirty seconds boy, you are NOT going to like what is going to happen." Adam straightened up and stood there with his hands on his hips as he watched his son hurry away and scramble up the stairs after his siblings.

He sighed as he looked down at his father who was desperately holding on to a serious expression. "Why don't you two come up in about fifteen minutes so you can finally get to meet Abby?" he glanced at Joe before turning back to smile tiredly at Ben. "And you better let that laugh out before you choke on it, Pa" he finished and moved toward the stairs as his father and brother gave in and laughed until they cried.


	4. Chapter 4

TURNING BACK

Abigail

Chapter 4

Aaron tugged Alec by the hand into a bedroom two doors down from where their mother lay recovering. The little boy was starting to nod off as the older one quickly got him ready for bed. He was about to tuck him in when the door opened and their father came in.

Adam smiled kindly down at his eldest son, noting the dark circles under the boy's eyes as he picked Alec up. He put one large hand on top of Aaron's head and began to prod him toward the door. "You're mother is still awake, so I told her I'd let you all come in to see her for a few minutes," he said and his smile widened when the son who was his spitting image took off as fast as he could without actually running and breaking a major rule.

Alec snuggled up against his father's chest as Adam left that bedroom and stopped to tap on the door where his three daughters would be sleeping. Two female voices called out, "Come in!" and he opened the door. The girls were already in bed, but quickly scrambled out to put on robes and slippers when he told them they could see their mother. Amelia rushed out of the room while Adelaide went down the hall at a slower pace with Amber in her arms.

He stopped in the other boy's bedroom and they too hurried to see their mother, taking off in just their nightshirts and with bare feet. Shaking his head, Adam looked down at Alec who was now fast asleep and made his way back to the bedroom he would be sharing with his wife, which was now noisy with children.

They had piled onto the bed, but were being very careful not to jostle their mother as they all tried to talk to her at once. Aaron came to take Alec from his father and returned to the bed. Abby had the newborn cradled in one arm and motioned for her eldest son to hand over Alec with the other.

Aaron sat down next to her at the head of the bed and she tipped her head to rest it against his upper arm, bringing a smile to the boy's face. Having had his mother to himself for the first two years of his life had forged a close bond between them and Adam was again glad to see that had not changed.

He grinned as he watched his wife manage to somehow talk to each child: answering questions about the new baby; listening to the story of Alec biting Aaron; and paying attention to various, and sometimes inaccurate, descriptions of their new grandfather and uncles.

Adam stayed back, leaning up against the wall, and was suddenly aware of the person he had been the last time he had fallen asleep in that very room. He could see his previous self moving around like a ghost, packing his bags and preparing to leave the only home he could really remember. At least the only real home he had known until he had met Abby.

The twelve years since he left had passed quickly and he felt the same familiar pain in his heart at having not contacted his father and brothers almost the entire time. No doubt they had been thinking he was dead and he dreaded the conversation he would have to have with them eventually. He knew they were still overwhelmed by the appearance of so many people and were not thinking yet about the years of painful uncertainty, the wondering if they would ever see him again.

He was deep in thought, trying to decide just how much he could safely tell them when he realized the three men in question would be showing up soon. The children didn't complain this time when he sent them off, and then he helped an exhausted Abby lie down on her side and position the infant so she could coax him to nurse for the first time.

Adam had just seated himself cross-legged on the bed next to his wife when they heard the expected knock on the partially open door. He called out, "Come in," and Ben led the way, his dark eyes going immediately to Abby and the blanket-wrapped bundle at her breast.

She smiled a very tired smile as he came to sit in the chair by the head of the bed while Joe and Hoss stayed near the door. Adam smoothed her hair back when she looked over her shoulder at him with another smile. He leaned down to kiss her on the cheek and then slid off the bed to join his brothers, giving his wife and father some semblance of privacy for their first conversation.

Turning back to Ben, she shifted the child slightly and gave her father-in-law another smile. "I'm so glad to finally meet you," she said quietly. "I just wish we could have met in better circumstances."

Ben had taken note of the lines of weariness that marked her pale face and the love he had briefly seen shining in her clear gray eyes as she had looked over her shoulder at his eldest son. He smiled back and leaned forward to speak in a low voice, not wanting to disturb the infant.

"I can't think of any circumstances that could possibly be better."

Her smile widened and her eyes sparkled for a moment in appreciation of his gallant attempt to relieve some of the embarrassment she had felt earlier.

"Thank you," she answered and was about to go on when she caught a flash of movement behind his chair. She craned her neck to get a better look and had to laugh as Amber quickly peaked around the back of the chair again.

"Amber, come out now," she said and the child slowly obeyed, looking up at her mother through her upper lashes. She stopped when she was next to Ben, turned toward him and held her arms out saying, "Up!" while watching her mother out of the corner of her eye.

"Child, what did I tell you about demanding things?" Abby chided her and the little girl nodded. Still facing Ben she said, "Up please!" and they both had to laugh as he lifted her into his lap.

The little one reached out to carefully touch the infant's cheek with her tiny fingers and grinned when the baby opened his eyes. "Ma! He gots blue eyes!" she piped, sounding very surprised and pleased.

"Honey, his eyes may look blue now, but they won't for long. Many babies just born have eyes with a bluish tint."

"Oh," the tiny girl said, sounding disappointed. "Unca Hoss has pretty blue eyes," she commented, slid from her grandfather's lap, and trotted over to stand in front of the big man. She pointed up and turned her head to look at her mother. "See! He gots bootiful eyes," the child insisted and the adults laughed, even Hoss, although his face turned slightly red.

Adam scooped her up saying, "Didn't I tell you to go to bed just a little while ago?"

Amber's expression was solemn as she looked up into her father's face and nodded her head.

"Then why didn't you?"

"'Cause nobody tooked me," the child answered, her tone saying that should have been obvious, even to an adult.

Everyone but Adam laughed again and he narrowed his eyes while the corners of his mouth lifted slightly. "Hmmm...I guess I have to accept that excuse this time, but from now on you do what I say young lady."

The tiny child nodded vigorously and popped a thumb into her mouth while giving her father a father a wide-eyed innocent look. He shook his head at her and sighed before heading for the door to take her to bed.

"Say good night Amber," he said and the child waved her free hand, calling out what everyone assumed was "good night," but couldn't tell for sure. She still had her thumb in her mouth.

Joe and Hoss followed him out into the hallway and waited as he quietly went into the girls' bedroom, tucked Amber in, and quickly came back out.

"Where have you been all this time?" Joe asked a little too loudly due to his excited state.

"Keep it down, Joe, I don't want any of them awake again," Adam said low when he reached them. He held a hand up to put off any more questions when Joe opened his mouth to pursue the subject.

"Not here in the hall, alright? I'll meet you two in Hoss's room." He turned away to go back into his bedroom and his brothers only glanced at each other before moving on.

Ben and Abby were deep in conversation so neither one noticed Adam coming back in. He smiled at them, quietly took his bag off the dresser, and slipped back out. When he entered Hoss's room he kept going until he was standing next to the bed where the big man was sitting.

"Take your shirt off," he told his brother and Hoss stared up at him, startled.

"What for?"

Adam set the bag down on the bed and opened it saying, "I want to get a look at those nail gouges on your shoulders."

"What for?" Hoss repeated then blinked, realizing he was starting to sound a little dim-witted.

"They're bleeding," Adam answered sounding both annoyed and amused at the same time. He put his hands on his hips and gave his brother a severe stare. "Now do as your told, young man." Hoss automatically started to obey then stopped.

"Hey!" he protested, but had to grin when Adam laughed softly.

"For a second there I thought that was actually going to work."

"You know you sounded exactly like Pa!" Hoss was saying when Joe finally found his voice.

"Holy hinkel - you're a DOCTOR?!" he almost shouted and his brothers both shushed him.

"No Joseph," Adam went on, his eyes gleaming wickedly again. "I just carry this bag around because I like the way it looks." He turned to Hoss again impatiently, "Now would you get that shirt off please?"

Chuckling quietly the big man finally cooperated and his older brother whistled when he got a good look at the crescent-shaped punctures.

"She really got you, didn't she?" he murmured as he reached into the black bag and pulled out a handful of small squares of white cloth and a brown bottle filled with a clear liquid. "Now this is going to sting," he cautioned as he opened the bottle and dampened one of the cloth squares.

As soon as he touched the deepest wound the big man gasped. "Sting! What'd you put on there, raw turpentine?"

"Oh don't be such a big baby," Adam answered and kept going until every small cut was cleaned. He put the bottle away, pulled out a small jar, and began to dab a white cream on each gouge.

"There now, is that all better?" he said in syrupy tones, making Hoss laugh softly again now that the burning sensation was fading.

"Felt like I was bein' bit by fire ants!" he insisted and Joe sighed with exasperation and opened his mouth again, but Adam spoke instead.

"Hey, just be glad Abby didn't bite you."

"I thought you were jokin' about that!"

Laughing Adam unfastened a couple buttons and pulled his open collar to the side to reveal his right shoulder. "What does that look like?"

"She really did it," Hoss breathed and his older brother laughed a little louder.

"Considering she's been in labor nine times I figure I'm lucky to have gotten away with just the one scar," he joked and Joe decided the only way to get a word in was to join the current conversation.

"But you have ten kids," he said and Adam finally turned in his direction.

"Yes, but you're forgetting about the twins," he said and Joe suddenly realized his brother was trying to forestall any questions about where he had been for so long. He quickly looked away and the three men stood there in an awkward silence until Hoss surprised everyone, including himself, by speaking up.

"Joe didn't get to meet Abby yet," he said quietly and Adam nodded as he closed his bag and picked it up.

"Come on Joe...come meet my wife," he said and startled his younger brother by putting an arm around his shoulders and guiding him out into the hall.

Hoss stayed sitting on his bed for a few moments, deep in thought, and then rose to follow them. A few seconds later he hurried back in, his face deep red with embarrassment. He had forgotten to put on another shirt.


	5. Chapter 5

TURNING BACK

Chapter 5

Going To Town

For the next two weeks Adam spent all day, every day, with his children, taking care of them by himself and refusing to let anyone but Aaron help.

Ben was very worried at first, but then noticed the harsh lines of weariness and worry that had been etched so deeply into his son's face started easing after the first week. After the second week, they were almost gone and in spite of the sprinkling of white hair at Adam's temples, he suddenly began to look more like the young man who had walked out of their lives such a long time ago.

Joe and Hoss had been trying to talk him into going to the newest saloon in town and when the second Saturday rolled around they stepped up their efforts. Then they were surprised to find an unexpected ally in Abby. She had started going stir crazy and things came to a head when she tried to come downstairs that Saturday morning.

Adam had gone out to the barn to take care of the two huge horses and his brothers were practically walking up his heels the whole way. Once they were in the barn, they realized their brother's temper was being sorely tested by their wheedling, so they wisely kept quiet and helped with the horses, hoping to lull him into a better mood.

Their older brother WAS smiling when they left the barn and went across to the house, but that smile was quickly wiped off his face when he opened the door and stepped in to see Abby fully dressed and carefully coming down the stairs.

He stopped to abruptly that Joe walked right into him, and then Hoss ran into Joe. Abby bit her lip to keep from laughing at their startled faces when Adam still stood in the same spot, rock solid and unmoved.

"What do you think you're doing?" her husband ground out and she narrowed her eyes as she let out a deep, quick sigh of exasperation. When she opened her mouth to explain he shook his head and cut her off as he moved halfway across the floor toward the stairs.

He stopped and stood there watching her with hooded eyes and a half smile.

"Abigail," he said clearly annoyed. "You have two choices. One, you can turn around and go back to bed yourself, or two, I can take you there." He paused to tilt his head inquiringly.

"What's it going to be?"

Her eyes narrowed even more as she gave that quick, huffing sigh again before turning around and stomping up the stairs while mumbling something under her breath.

"What was that?" he said and quickly put on a neutral expression when she turned around to look down her pert nose at him, her face flushing a deep rose with exasperation.

"I SAID...you're a stubborn, pig-headed bully!" she snapped as she continued up the stairs.

"That's right lady, and don't you forget it," Adam called after her with laughter in his voice as she reached the upper hallway and turned toward their bedroom. When she was almost there he called to her again.

"And DON'T slam the door," he ordered, and chuckled quietly when he immediately heard a resounding "BANG!"

Joe started to speak, but his eldest brother held up a hand to stop him.

"Wait," he said low with a pleased grin, his head tipped to the side. The door opened and slammed shut again, even louder.

Adam stood there quietly for a few more moments, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter as he shook his head. When he finally turned away his brows rose at the uncertain expressions on his brother's faces.

"What?" he asked.

The other two glanced at each other and Hoss cleared his throat before speaking.

"I take it you two aren't gettin along?"

His older brother's brows rose even higher.

"What makes you say that?"

Joe and Hoss glanced at each other again.

"Oh, Abby and I weren't fighting," he grinned again, "Not really. That little display of defiance was mild for her, especially considering how incredibly cranky she is right now."

Joe couldn't help but laugh. "That was mild?"

"Yes Joseph, quite mild. She has an extremely hot temper and is actually on her best behavior right now."

"Mild?" Hoss echoed, and Adam couldn't help but laugh at his dubious expression.

"Very much so, believe it or not." He glanced at the clock to see that the hour was almost noon, so he moved toward the door to back out and gather up his children.

"Take my advice boys, don't ever make her mad," he said and went out, laughing again as he closed the door firmly behind him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Early that evening, Adam was smiling as he came trotting down the stairs, and he was still smiling when he dropped into a deep chair in front of the fireplace.

"Did you and Abby make up?" Joe asked as he moved closer to sit on the low table in front of Adam's chair and Hoss wandered over to lean on the back.

"No," Adam answered quickly, then went on.

"Remember I told you we weren't fighting. She's just bored and irritable and taking it out on me," he chuckled.

"And you find that amusing?" his father asked, putting aside the paper he had been reading and giving his eldest son a sharp look.

"Yes I do, because that means she's almost back to normal if she feels well enough to be hopping mad."

"Then that's a good sign," Ben's expression relaxed as Adam grinned, partly in answer.

"Yessir, that is always a good sign."

Ben nodded. "I know what you mean.."

The two men exchanged a look of complete understanding.

"So," Adam continued, "I've decided to go into town with Joe and Hoss tonight. Abby can put the children to bed and find out she's not quite as strong as she thinks she is." He grinned at his father again and the older man's eyes sparked with humor.

"Something tells me that's the only way to get through to her."

"You are absolutely right about that, Pa. She won't suffer any true ill effects, but at least she'll stop champing at the bit for another day or two. By then, she'll really be ready to be back on her feet."

Hoss frowned.

"And talkin to her wouldn't do any good?"

"Take my word for it Hoss, I could talk to that woman until I'm blue in the face, but it wouldn't make any difference. She's stubborn and headstrong and impatient and therefore has to learn everything the hard way."

Joe started laughing at him. "That sounds like someone else we all know."

Adam's eyes laughed back as he focused on his youngest brother.

"Correct! We are very much alike and that's one of the reasons why I understand her so well...and why I usually win."

"Because you're smarter?" Hoss asked seriously.

"Actually no, I'm not. I think we're pretty much equal in that area," he paused for a few seconds. "However, I happen to be a little more stubborn and a lot more cunning than she is." He paused again to laugh.

"Abby couldn't be devious to save her life, she's too open and direct for that."

Ben inclined his head slightly.

"I'm sure you know what you're doing."

"I do, Pa, I definitely do. Remember, I've been married to that woman for almost fourteen years and I would hope I've learned a thing or two in all that time."

"I'm sure you must have," his father agreed and yet managed to sound dubious at the same time.

Adam gave him a cocky grin.

"Don't worry Pa, I know how to handle her."

Ben chuckled, even while shaking his head.

"I know how to handle the children too, and although I haven't been a father as long as you have I think I've made up for some of that in sheer numbers."

His father and brothers laughed, pleased that Adam's self-imposed shell of silence was starting to crack.

Ben studied his eldest son for a moment and decided that time was not right to ask any of the probing questions that were on the tip of his tongue.

"Well, you three had better leave soon," he said instead, and settled back in his chair to watch them collect hats, coats, and gunbelts as they jostled each other, laughing and joking as they went out the door.

He picked up his paper, but suddenly feeling restless, he put it back down and got to his feet.

Smiling, he wandered over to the nearest bookcase, spent a couple of seconds running one index finger across the leather covered spines of the books before giving in and heading for the stairs.


End file.
